Remnant Feelings
by Yuri Aileron
Summary: After the death of Euphie, Lelouch is going through the trouble of dealing with her death. C.C. has decided to aide him and an understanding is made through the turmoil of loss. An unusual one shot that hopefully conveys something interesting and decent.


It had been quite some time since Lelouch had felt anything as destructive as this. There was pain but this was something more than pain and not something he could recall feeling since many years ago; a memory that continuously drove him forward to having taken up becoming Zero . . . to having formed the Black Knights and to having decided that he would change this world. It had been days and yet the exiled prince could not fully make sense of what he had done. Simply left to deal with the pain of his actions, and however much he wished he could have chosen a different option, he was telling him that he only did what needed to be done in the end. The result was still looming over him however; his actions and what they had cost him.

Euphie was dead. He killed her.

It made no sense, what his Geass had done. He had not expected it to happen; the ability to turn off his Geass hadn't become knowledge to him until it was too late. Watching as she attempted to resist its control over her . . . watching as she did so for a brief time, before being consumed by its power. And then what had happened afterwards. If he truly wanted to, he might have stopped her in one way or another; he could have thought of something to prevent the massacre of the innocent lives, she was attempting to aide. The Special Administrative Zone of Japan had been an excellent idea and yet it eventually became nothing more than a ruse in the eyes of others. All people saw now was that the idea of such was simply used to gather Elevens in one general area so that Euphie could begin 'her' massacre of them.

Lelouch knew the truth though but he made no attempt to really stop such events from unfolding. He simply played off of them and used them in the end for his own needs. It seemed so coincidental that his Geass would become uncontrollable then of all times; was it mere coincidence or was there more to this power than he truly understood?

He sighed vehemently before his eyes opened to the pitch dark of the room. He couldn't recall where he was or how long he had been here but what significance did it pose in the end, anyways? It was not important enough to draw his attention away from the topic that so heavily consumed him. There was more here than he was aware of; so many mysteries within his actions and within these events. Yet if he had truly understood all of this beforehand, would he have changed anything? The way events unfolded set things to his favor. Was the exchange equivalent and acceptable that he could simply allow it to be and move on?

Of course not. But this was how Lelouch was; this was a war for the exiled prince and this was how he fought. To make sure that in the end there would be no other fighting and nothing else to stand against him. He now had to use this victory – for that's eventually what it was – to eventually ensure that he won the entire war.

Accepting that did not stop those thoughts from filling his mind, however. Yet his rational mind began to introduce a more pressing matter into play. The problems revolving around his Geass. It was a matter that could not be overlooked but also one, he accepted, could not be answered without inquiring more out of the witch that had given him, this power of his.

"Is this how you intend to spend your days Lelouch," said C.C. "Moping over the result of your actions and letting it rot you from the inside out?"

Lelouch had not expected her presence, but he still found himself amused that she would appear at such a time. He smiled and turned in the chair, to face her. "I thought you had already gone back to my room. Why are you here?"

"I'm rather interested to see how this latest development will affect our deal," she said. "And what good would it do me to return without you? If you wind up committing suicide here in your depression, then who else would really want and need me?"

"Don't be foolish . . ."

"The only one being foolish is you. You are the only one that I willingly admit can accomplish what you say you can. Would you simply allow me to go to any other individual of my choosing anyway? I'm rather surprised your lust to remain in power and control of me isn't sending you over the edge to hold me down at this very moment."

The amusement was apparent in her voice. Yet all Lelouch did was sigh. "You're assuming far too much."

"Or maybe, not enough. Regardless I have no intentions of endorsing any other who seeks me out. If not you, then there are no others who could care to have me. If that was the case, then I have killed Mao for no reason. Would you have him seek me out and own me?"

"At least he'll love you."

"You know nothing of love, Lelouch. It'd be obsession."

"Even obsession is a form of love in one way or another."

"And you know this because . . . ?"

"Because _I _love you."

She stared at him in consternation before her eyes averted. "How do you expect me to answer a foolish comment like that, Lelouch?"

He looked up at her, rather amused. "Was there something else, I should have said?"

She shrugged. "I wouldn't really know. I'm not your scriptwriter.

"No, but I trust you to read it and point out the scripts flaws when necessary. Would you prefer I have said there's someone out there to love you because someone has to and you apparently believe it won't be me?"

". . . when do you intend to come home, Lelouch?

He had considered avoiding the question or giving an answer that really said nothing at all. His hands entwined together before his chin rested atop them and for once, he considered a direct and simple answer. "When I'm able to of course."

A knowing smile overcame C.C. before she turned away from him; hands clasping behind her back as she shook her head. "Ah, I think I finally understand what this is really about."

"What exactly is this about then?"

"We've discussed this Lelouch. It's not gentlemen like to have the women sleep on the floor. You're not that gentleman like though, are you Lelouch? I suppose it was weird of me to think you were weird and abnormal to actually allow such."

"If you think I'm not weird, then you have no place even being partnered with me, do you?"

"You're acting like your widowed, Lelouch. Do you intend to grieve over Euphemia for the rest of your life?"

Lelouch sighed and rolled his chair back from the table. "Is that all this is? A concern for me because I grieve over the loss of someone close?"

C.C. noted the sarcasm but didn't acknowledge such physically. "She died because you accidentally set her upon a killing spree. Your Geass is now uncontrollable and so it's as though she died in vain. You've shut yourself in here with thoughts only of her and her ideals of making Japan better and you've left everyone else on the sidelines. You don't notice anything going on at the moment, including the stress being put upon the others because Zero has yet to make an appearance to them, in several days. You're acting like a child in love; as though you were joined at the hip and married. For all I know, that could have someday been your intention."

"I think marriage is taking it a step too far, to be honest."

"You were still in love with her, Lelouch."

"Don't count me as one who marries into their own family to keep to royalty."

"You're no longer royalty to begin with. Focus though. In this case, she wound up being an enemy. You defeated her because you loved her, otherwise, you would have simply allowed someone else among the Black Knights to do so. I'm not asking you to agree because somehow I doubt you will until it hits you later on in life. You can't allow it to control you, though. Your head is not in the game and you don't care about anything but what you've done."

"Not true. I care about you . . . "

"Using me and needing me isn't caring, Lelouch."

"I'll fulfill the contract, C.C. I know you want me to . . . I know you want it to be me, who does it."

She turned her head to look back at him. "What makes you think I can't find another to take your place, after all?" she said.

"I know you, C.C." Lelouch smiled slightly.

"You know nothing about me in actuality however, Lelouch. You only think you know me."

"Something like the way you think you me, am I correct?"

"I'm not swayed by my emotions," she said. "Such would not happen from being with you of all people, Lelouch."

"Does it bother you when I claim to know your deepest inner motivations? You don't let people in and yet you simply invade others and uncover everything about them. Aren't we a partnership? Why do you keep pushing me away when I get so close to uncovering something of you?"

"It's rather annoying that you'd assume such of me."

"I can only assume so much because I _do _know and care about you, C.C."

C.C. began walking until her hand rested on the door. A small smirk resting upon her facial features as her head rested against the door frame. "Well, I actually _love _you and _care _about you, little Lelouch." Then she turned away from him and left the room.

Lelouch smirked in return and stood from the chair. "And I love and care for you too, my manipulative little witch, but you would never come to believe such a thing, would you?" His head shook lightly before his fists clenched and he fell back in the chair. Truly manipulative . . . but nevertheless, she had made her point known. Better yet, she had thrown what Lelouch had already known out into the open.

Turning his chair back to face the display, Lelouch stared silently at the news playing muted. A picture of Euphie flashing onto the screen as his head rested within his hand. "I will not rest until I make this right for you, Euphie." Such words were whispered but even those words held their impacting force. She was gone forever and so it would never fully be right. He would never be able to rest.

* * *

[ A.N. ] Hopefully this didn't turn out all that bad, but as I was writing it, there were some points that seemed a bit off to me. I'm not necessarily sure how well the dialogue really seemed, but I've learned more or less that my writing and decisions tend to worsen as I continuously change and rewrite things.

Here's to my first piece submitted to Fanfiction and I hope it goes over well with all you, readers.


End file.
